Freeverse Poem

Suddenly I stop to think. I stare deep into the crisp piece of paper before me, trying to grasp the gravity of the situation. I start to grapple just how fast my life is moving forward - I am plunging into a deep unknown abyss powerless to stop it. Eighth grade? About to leave Logan? Applying for High School? It feels like it was just yesterday that I was wondering what my final year at Logan would be like. Now I am in it - facing big decisions about my life. The truth of it hits me like a frigid blast of air. At the same time I can't help but wonder what direction my life is heading - will I be able to cope with the challenges? What will I be like? When will all this work pay off? Does it ever get easier? I slump down onto the couch lost in my own thoughts.

My thoughts eat away at me. My parents always tell me that everything will work out - that it will be okay in the end. How do I know they are right? Even scarier; what will I do when they are gone? The warmth and reassurence of their words crumbles away. Suddenly I start getting nervous - trying to come up with a reassuring answer to all these questions. I blink, and return to reality. All these worries are a long ways away - and all the adults in my life have gotten through them, why can't I? I calm down a little bit. There is still that nagging question like a thorn is my side - What is this all for? Why work so hard?

Then I realize that there is not simple black and white answer to this, like many things. I could choose to look at it like Tallahassee from Zombieland and think that enjoying life is about the little things. Or, look at it from no particular persons point of view and think that at the end off your life all your work and accomplishments will pay off - but old people really don't seem that happy. Suddenly I realize that there could be a completely new answer - that there is no answer to why people choose to keep on going like one that you could write on a test - or maybe the answer is specific to each person and that answer is true to them and makes sense to them. Maybe the answer to why people keep on going is meant to be found out as you progress through your life. I am only a thirteen year old after all, no one asked me to have an answer to the question people have probably been wondering for thousands of years.

Maybe if we just will ourselves to go on with another day, day after day, we will find joy in our lives, and eventually find that answer. I then start to think of all the wonderful things I could do. I could compose music that brings people to tears. I could write a book that has all the answers to my questions. I could raise children and teach them those answers - or watch them learn them themselves. I could change the world in ways no one ever thought was possible. I have a sudden bright, warm and powerful feeling - hope.

I understand it will be hard - life is hard. But I know that in the end, I will be happy that I willed myself to go on day to day, and I will continue to find joy and light in my life, and do things I am proud of. Then I look at my watch and realize I have homework so I get up to go grab a soda before I head up to my room.